A Tense Situation

I was working on my manuscript tonight, when I realized that at some point I had switched tenses; I had been writing in present, a decision I had never consciously made, and suddenly I was living in the past.  I pulled a few books off the shelf and realized that every one of them was in past tense.  Then I read a few articles on the issue and realized that I probably should be writing in the past tense. As  Novel-Writing-Help.com puts it the most succinctly: "If you aren't sure whether to write your novel in the past tense or the present tense, or if you have no strong feelings either way, take my advice and stick with the past."  Easy, I thought.  Since I'd never really thought about it, it obviously didn't matter that much to me. I decided to go back and change the tense.

Then, I made the mistake of reading the comments at the bottom. Comments! Why have you forsaken me?!  I mean, you think I would have known better--the comment section is usually reserved exclusively for trolls and zealots.  But here, a few people reasonable and effectively argued that present tense had its place, especially in terms of creating action.   I found myself agreeing with Julie Cater: "Surely it depends on whether the character is looking back in time regardless of whether it is the narrator or the character speaking?"  My story isn't taking place in the past, so why would I use past tense?

Great.  Just when, at the positive prodding of my friend Amy, I had finally started moving forward with my plot for the first time in a while, I was stalled.  (I just realized I'm writing in past now and it feels natural!).

This night, however, I would not be thwarted like my decision making faculty in the face of a Cheesecake Factory Menu.  I decided to do as the article had in order to demonstrate the difference:  I took one passage and wrote it in both tenses.  I felt pretty smart, until I remembered that was the first assignment a sixteen-year-old student did for me when she was revising her novel last semester.  Duh.  Anyways, wheel reinvention aside, here goes:

Exhibit A--Present Tense:

“I don't know why you aren't more excited, Persis. Cousin Olympics are the best!”  Ellie, brilliant, beautiful Ellie, is clearly full of enough excitement for the both of us.

I turn to Ellie, raise an eyebrow: “Says the girl who always gets a medal.”  It's not one hundred percent true, but Ellie’s name has been stitched onto the Champion's Quilt more than any other cousin's.  

She rolls her eyes and I turn and look back out the window, watching the green, rolling scenery of Abbadon, Georgia fly by.  I have my arm out the window, allowing it to rise and plummet with the wind that's coming in hot and fast.  Even though we're both sweating through our shirts, it's a tradition of ours.  It makes the lake water feel that much better.  This stretch of Jot-Em-Down Road is my favorite.  It's the last bit before we cross the bridge to the Jennings Family Land.  The river roars by at the far edge of the valley, while alongside the road the regular afternoon downpours create an ever-changing series of pools that reflect the green of the reeds, the blue of the sky, the white of the ubiquitous clouds.  I close my eyes, enjoy the tempered, red-warmth of the sun through my lids and the smell of wet earth, the last moment's peace before...

Exhibit B--Past Tense

“I don't know why you aren't more excited, Persis. Cousin Olympics are the best!”  Ellie, brilliant, beautiful Ellie, was clearly full of enough excitement for the both of us.

I turned to Ellie, raised an eyebrow: “Says the girl who always gets a medal.”  It's not one hundred percent true, but Ellie’s name has been stitched onto the Champion's Quilt more than any other cousin's.  


She rolled her eyes and I turned and looked back out the window, watching the green, rolling scenery of Abbadon, Georgia fly by.  I had my arm out the window, allowing it to rise and plummet with the wind that was coming in hot and fast.  Even though we were both sweating through our shirts, it was a tradition of ours.  It made the lake water feel that much better.  This stretch of Jot-Em-Down Road was my favorite.  It was the last bit before we crossed the bridge to the Jennings Family Land.  The river roared by at the far edge of the valley, while alongside the road the regular afternoon downpours created an ever-changing series of pools that reflected the green of the reeds, the blue of the sky, the white of the ubiquitous clouds.  I closed my eyes, enjoying the tempered, red-warmth of the sun through my lids and the smell of wet earth, the last moment's peace before...

Well, that only helped a little.  I guess because I've been writing in present tense, that seems more right although now I can see the past tense, too.

Help!  What do you think? I guess unless you think the present tense is way better, I should go with the past, right?!  Interrobang! (That's a new phrase I'm trying to get going.  Kind of like "whaaaaa?" but hopefully not like "fetch.").